If she still refuses to give you her number
Back to the Table of Contents
If she seems reluctant to give you her phone-number both after structuring an opportunity for her to offer her number and straight-out asking for it, whatever you do, don't push it. You need to remain polite and safe, like its no big deal if she doesn't want to give you her number. But that doesn't mean you'll have to write her off in your mind, here's a strategy of covert persistence by Johnny Shack (http://showgirls.com.au):
"Remember: when approaching a woman you have never met you must not be too
overwhelming because it can make her back up. If you press the issue much
further you will not get anywhere. You must still be persistent
however and the best thing you can do if you really want her is this - ask
her a couple of times about dating you and if this doesn't work change the
subject to idle chit chat.
In this chit chat you have 2 goals.
The first is to make an impression on her what a good guy you are. Women
love a guy that can hold some sort of conversation. For some reason women
think they are more intelligent than the majority of men. Once you realise
this, you need to throw this thought of theirs out the window and show that
you are different.
The second goal and more important is to find out where she works. People's
favorite subject is themselves and you can run a conversation purely on
questions about her. She will almost always answer at least a few of them.
Now two of these questions needs to be where does she works and what is her name
[note that this is not the AFC-style "sooo... what's your name?" and "soooo... where do you work?"
line of questioning which leads nowhere and is just testament to the fact
that the guy is really desperate to have something, anything to
talk about with the babe but can't really come up with anything;
no, this time the questions are actually going somewhere, so hold on:)].
You can say "Oh by the way my name is Johnny". If she doesn't automatically
tell you her's you should ask for it almost immediately after you have given
your's. Now instead of asking a bold question like "where do you work"
(the reason this is bold is because you are strangers and sometimes a
girl will get defensive if you ask too many direct questions)you
say, "So what industry are you in?". Wait till she answers then say: "Do you like it"?
Now she may even tell you at this point where or who her employer is but if
she doesn't you say: "Oh, where do you work from? I know someone that does
that and they really love it". Here you are creating an impression that
you have something in common with her and she will loosen up and
think you are safe to be with. You have also made her feel good that her
profession is one that you respect.
Now that you know her name and the place she works in you should be the one that makes
the move to leave. It is
somewhat important to be the one to make the move to leave to eliminate a possible feeling in her that you
may be pestering her (actually she's lucky you are, but strange beings those women are:).
Its not vital but a good advantage to have made the move first to leave."
[And a couple of days later you can phone the operator of the place she works in and ask for her:)
Remember to introduce yourself and remind her of your encounter a few days before. She might pretend
she can't quite remember you or the enconter but you can be certain that she does - she's just
testing you if her forgetfulness about you can put you off. Just continue with:]
"I'm the guy who came up to you and asked for your phone number at [whereever]."
"[a simulated response of being curious of how you found her] And how did you find me here?"
"Remember how you told me who you work for, well I rang the operator to get
your number hoping I would find you there. You didn't think I would let you
get away that easily did you:) [remember to smile here, she'll "hear" it]?"
"Well now that I have gone to this much trouble the
least you could do is accept an invitation to go out with me next week."
"[a simulated response of being curious what you have in mind] It would have to be something pretty good to live up to your confidence."
"Well, I've been on some dates in the nicest restaurants and the theatre and many of them have been great.
But I've also been on a couple of dates where all we did was go and have coffee and they also went great. So
it just depends on whether or not we need scenery to make our time together fun... and I'm betting we don't.
Just leave it to me and I'll think of something we'll both enjoy".
A word of warning on the last statement - the reason for letting the girl know that you have dated before is to create the image
that you are a desirable man. It can also put the girl at ease thinking
that this idea of going on a date with you is not really a big deal.
You don't however want to lead the girl to believe that she is not
really that important to you and you are just a guy who goes from girl to girl, so be careful."
Comment / Contribute / Update