Boyfriend Destroyer patterns
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"You're sort of seeing someone? As you're only sort of seeing that image of him in your mind, notice what happens as that image gets smaller and darker only as fast as an image of you and me being together having lots of fun gets big and brighter right there in its place.
Now as you look at that picture right there, doesn't it seem like something you really want. Oh yea, in fact, doesn't it seem like something that's already happened and there's no point resisting it cause it's too late to do anything but smile that smile of deep satisfaction and know this is going to be incredible. Oh yea, great, so when can I pick you up?"
"Well, look I really enjoyed this, and I'd like to talk to you again sometime? Can I call you? You have a boyfriend?
Well, I have to admit I'm disappointed, I have to respect that you're in a relationship. But let me ask you a something. How surprised would you be to find yourself actually looking forward to spending a little time with me? I mean, maybe to the point where you could imagine us over coffee, laughing and having the best of time, and you starting to feel really comfortable with it? As you think about it like that, doesn't seem natural to meet like Monday or Tuesday for coffee?
What a never-ending monologue:) But if she's a listener, you'll do fine:) Ross Jeffries:
(This one would require that you already talked about sub-modalities beforehand) Oh you have a boyfriend, I understand, and you know, I have respect for that, I do have to appreciate it cause its rare to find someone who you can be with and that's a cool thing.
But I also know that you can be in a relationship one minute and the next minute, you don't know what has happened. I'm sure you have experienced that, haven't you? Yea, so well lets take this guy for a minute, lets imagine this guy (point to the palm of your hand), lets say you're going out with him and then you break up with him. Have you ever broken up with someone?
And then you suddenly start to look back on the relationship and notice the things he does that you can't stand. Like maybe he leaves the cap off the toothpaste, or he ignores you or does any of those other things that generate all those feelings of being let down, bored or disgusted or all those things that represent that in him and you get to the point where you just can't stand it anymore. You got to break up with him. Did that ever happen?
Oh yea! Maybe you even look back on the relationship and you become obsessed with the things you hate about him. Till you get to the point where you think to yourself, god, what did I ever see in him. Has that ever happened to you?
You know, the whole thing is, that entire process can take months and months, but I'm wondering what would it be like if that entire process were to take place instantaneously in your mind. It would be like if you try to (wave your hands in her face) see his image in your mind, you couldn't do it. It would be like something unknown was simply breaking it into pieces, you know. Its like you couldn't see his image in your mind anymore and that's the first sign that will let you know that you're already starting to find him a lot less important (cover the palm of your hand).
Now that's a sad thing when you put someone behind you, but its also a happy thing. Cause when that happens you open yourself up to someone new (sp). You allow someone new to come inside . . your sphere of influence and penetrate your thinking. Now that's a great thing to make that connection and only feel good right now.
(transitioning to Incredible Connection) You know, when you connect with someone its like there's a cord of light going from you to them. And as that just starts to glow with the warmth of that connection, and as the depth rich warmth of it just spreads to where you want it to go, its like you want to create an opening, an opening for pleasure an opening for connectiveness and desire. I mean, what's it like when you're with someone who oooohhhhh, you know, really knows how. Isn't that a great thing. Now you may be surprised to find that as I talk about that, you start to have certain images and I don't know what those might be and I won't ask you cause the content might be a little personal, but as those pictures get bigger and brighter oooohhhh you start to add in those sounds that make you feel perfect. You may begin to realize there's something you really want and you got to have it. I mean, have you ever woken up and really had to have something. What's it like when you want something so bad that you just feel filled with the desire in a way that just makes you feel perfect.
Sometimes when someone has upset you, its best to forget about them. You know when you think about that, when you forget about something or someone where does it go? Like someone you use to know a long time ago, or what about something you wanted to be when you were a child and it never came to fruition. Have you ever used Windows, 95 or 98 / a Macintosh computer? Do you know how you put something in the trash? Now try to remember something you wanted to be when you were a child... Was there something you wanted to have or something you wanted to be? (she might answer "a dancer" or "a model" or "an actress"). Ok, you could still become one some day, but point to where in your mind you see that idea right now. That's like the recycle bin in Windows / trach can on a Macintosh! (Or just imagine, if you were to put something in the trash in your mind, just where would that trash thing be located).
So just take all those thoughts about him, if fact, you may find that the image of him, for some unknown reason, powers itself, sneaks itself, down there and stays there. And any thoughts you might have of not listening to me and obeying everything I say, you may be surprised to find them going right down there as well. That's right. (Point to where her boyfriend's picture has moved) Seeing it from this perspective, I invite you to notice how you might feel - you were so wrong about this guy. Have you ever thought you loved someone and then you suddenly realise for some unknown reason you deeply love someone else (point) much much more. And when that's happening its a sad thing in a way, but also, its a good thing..."
This one is easy (equals good:), especially when compared to the hog above.
Kevin Kupal, mindlist:
"It's amazing how YOUR MINE works you know. I mean, people never really realize how
to control their emotions, but it can so very easily done! Wanna bet? Hokay...
Well... remember a time when you were utterly humiliated... when you just wanted to
bury your head in the ground and disappear... as if the whole world were laughing
at you... do you feel that now? (wait)... okay...
Imagine that I can take that feeling, collect it all in my hand (wave in front of
her chest, as if collecting waifs or whiffs of air), take it all out. and quash
all of that bad feeling in my hand... concentrated in all its bad emotions in this
very small space, and I take this away from you (take hand away). Makes you feel
so much better now, does it not ?
NOW, can't you see... it's easy to make people FEEL VERY GOOD. WITH ME, it's a
natural thing to do. Can KEVIN (point to the hand with the bad feelings) do that?
Not really a destroyer, but will probably get her thinking about the status of her borefriend.
Jake Thomson, ASF:
"You have a boyfriend. Well I must stay I certainly
disappointed, but I know how nice it is to have someone
who can fulfill your every desire, exactly the way you need
it fulfilled, who can communicate with you at the deepest
core of your being, exactly the way you need to be
communicated with. And since it's obvious that's the case
here, might I inquire when is the wedding? I mean, since
he's meeting EVERY DESIRE you have, exactly the way YOU NEED
IT FULFILLED, you must be planning on marriage, right. That
way you can spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE, just with him,
forever and ever and ever. That's so sweet.
[if she mumbles "um... no wedding yet", transition to a close]"
Update. Pattern 6.
From an unknown source:
Her: Well, I'd like to go out with you but I'm seeing someone.
You: Right, I appreciate you being straight with me. Thank you. And as much
as I wish it weren't the case, I gotta tell I also respect
You: But you know, it's interesting, you can be in relationship one minute,
and the next minute, you don't know what's happening. I'm sure you've
experienced that, HAVEN'T YOU?
Her: Yes I have.
You: Its like you're going along and you suddenly start to FEEL UNCERTAIN
ABOUT WHERE THE WHOLE THING IS GOING?
Her: Yeah, sure.
You: What's the guys name your going out with?
You: Right, so you're going out with Bill (point to your right hand) and you're enjoying it
and all...and then say for some reason you break up. You ever BREAK UP
WITH SOMEONE (point to palm of right hand) and you go through that period of mulling it
over and you NOTICE THE PATTERNS IN HIM THAT RUINED YOUR LAST
RELATIONSHIP... OR MAYBE YOU START TO LOOK AT HIM IN A WAY THAT REALLY
MAKES HIM A LOT LESS ATTRACTIVE IN YOUR MIND?
You: I mean it's so weird how the mind does all this stuff, but what I'm
curious about is what would it be like for a person if that entire
process were to TAKE PLACE INSTANTANEOUSLY (snap your fingers in her face)
in someone's mind? It'd be like (wave hand in her face) you couldn't see
his picture any more in your mind. Every time you tried it'd be like
something was just WIPING IT RIGHT OUT. And that's how you'd know that
you've already started to FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM, to MAKE HIM MUSCH LESS
You: Or you know, is there someone you used to date, but now they're way out
of your mind... you haven't even thought about them in a long time? Yeah?
Well as you remember him, point to where you see his picture?
You: Right there? Isn't that interesting? So if you were to, FORGET ABOUT
THIS GUY (hold your palm to where she pointed) it'd be like he GETS STUCK
IN THE SAME PLACE. Now imagine Bill in the place you see the other guy.
I think that, from this perspective, you REALLY CAN SEE SOMETHING IN HIM
YOU DON'T LIKE... something that over time, would really cause you TO
You: And when that happens it's a little sad, but its also a good thing,
because it allows you to CREATE AN OPENING FOR SOMEONE NEW. ME, I know
that's how it CAN GO DOWN ON ME (point to your groin).
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