Common misconceptions and problems with patterning
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An article by Ross Jeffries explaining the most important misconceptions and problems people have with patterning. Ross Jeffries, ASF:
"The following understandings represent ways to
clear up the most common misconceptions and problems
that students I have talked with typically encounter.
Understanding #1: The Patterns Are Only Examples!
As Major Mark and I have said over and over again
in seminars, the patterns sure are wonderful. Whether
it's the Blammo, the Blow Job, the tried and true
"Discovery Channel" or any one of so many patterns
now in the Speed Seduction Þ material, it is
important to realize they are only examples. They
are examples of the kinds of communication that open
and stimulate a woman to give her the deep emotional
and imaginative experiences that she longs for.
Can the patterns, used word for word as we teach
them, work for you? Of course! That's what they are
designed to do!
But it is equally important to use the patterns as
a teaching tool for yourself. To give yourself
opportunities to learn about the types of
communications that really stimulate women and give
them what they really long for.
Think of the patterns as training wheels; when you
first learned to ride a bicycle more than likely you
did it with FOUR wheels, and NOT two. Once you
learned the basics of balance and forward momentum;
once you got "the feel" of things, the training
wheels were removed and perhaps after a few falls,
off you went!
Same with the patterns you'll find in the courses,
videos, workbooks and seminars. They are as much
tools to train yourself as they are methods to open
and stimulate women!
Therefore, as you grow in the use of the materials,
you will begin to find you adapt bits and pieces of
the patterns in different order and in different ways
to fit the individual situation and unique women you
are encountering! In fact, you may well begin to
create your own! That is a sign you are really at a
level of great mastery!
Understanding #2: Getting "Caught" Is Bullshit!
One of the more common challenges new students
bring up is the fear of "getting caught". Some
students believe that using patterns is somehow like
committing some kind of minor crime, like picking a
girl's pocket or stealing her purse.
Remember, you can only fear "getting caught" if you
view what you are doing as something wrongful or
What you need to understand is this: using patterns
is not taking something away from her. You aren't
stealing her wristwatch; you are giving her something
wonderful. A chance to experience feelings and
emotions and states of mind/body that very, VERY few
people can ever give.
You need to believe that what you are offering to
give has value, even if at first you aren't the
smoothest in the delivery of it.
Look at it like this; if she had polio and YOU had
the vaccine, would you feel nervous, guilty or
shameful about telling her, "Hey?c'mere?.you really
need what I have?".
Well, so many women, no matter how beautiful, are
suffering from a disease far worse than polio. It's
the disease of the expected?the hum-drum?the "used to
that already". And you, my friend with the patterns
and the understanding of women they give, are the
cure for that and perhaps the only cure she will ever
Understanding #3: Gifts, NOT Apologies!
Another incorrect way to view patterns that you are
now correcting is that somehow, they are apologies.
Ways to make up for something that you are lacking.
Ways of saying, "I'm sorry I don't have the looks or
the body or the youth or the money that you want, but
won't you please accept these pretty words, oh lovely
Princess who I don't deserve to be with?"
Well, with THAT kind of attitude, which not only
doesn't work but is also inaccurate, NO fancy words
will work for you.
Listen?hear?get this understanding: the patterns
are NOT ways of making up for what you lack. They are
ways of offering women what it is THEY truly long
for; the deep, powerful, emotional and imaginative
experiences that every woman, deep in the core of her
being, really looks and longs for.
It is not that you are making up for lack of looks,
youth, money, status, etc. It is that these things
may be what women are used to wanting, but are NOT
what would really deeply fulfill them. The kinds of
communications the patterns offer ARE. What other
guys offer is
counterfeit; "funny money" that women are used to
accepting, because it's mostly the only thing in
circulation. Speed Seduction gives you the genuine
article; the pure gold "coin of the realm" instantly
recognizable in women's souls and hearts as what
they've always truly been looking for.
Understanding #4: Feelings Before Words!
So many students have told me: "Ross, the patterns
seem so foreign to me. They just don't seem like they
What's usually going on for these beginners is that
the patterns are descriptions of experiences they
themselves have never imagined or had. So naturally,
they just seem like they are reciting empty words
with NO meaning. These poor guys are so focused on
memorizing the words, they haven't put any focus into
getting some of the feelings.
You see, if you have never had a "peak experience"
and haven't even imagined having one, it is pretty
hard to sound convincing or to be captivating talking
about it. It's just empty words with nothing to back
it up. Sort of like the Japanese singing duo from
the 70's, "Pink Lady". These two lovely Japanese
girls understood not ONE word of English. But they
were a big hit on the talk show circuit, singing
English songs which they memorized purely by sound,
the joke being how they obviously did not understand
one single syllable of what they were singing!
The solution here, if this is your problem, is to
focus, in the beginning, NOT on memorization, but on
imagining for yourself the experiences the patterns
describe. Imagine for yourself what it would be like
to feel an incredible connection, a peak experience,
the excitement and body sensations of "parts" of the
Blow Job pattern, etc. etc.
As you read through and listen to patterns, imagine
having the experience for yourself, and get at least
some of the feelings you want to convey to the women
you wish to seduce. Notice I said "some" of the
feeling; if you get all of the feelings as intensely
as you wish her to feel them, no one will have their
hands on the wheel! Just get a bit of the feeling;
enough to let that feeling guide the expression of
In this way, the patterns serve to expand who you
are. To give you experiences and to cause you to take
notice of experiences that before might have gone [Image]
completely by. As you expand who you are and how you
experience your world, the bonus is you not only
become better at patterns, but a more rounded and
balanced human being who will naturally be more
appealing to women by virtue of who you are and what
you experience as well as by the words you know to
say! Your success with the material will grow as you
grow as a man.
Remember this very important principle: In life,
you will not get what you want. You will not get what
you "deserve". You will only get what the energies
you can create can connect with.
Therefore, learn to create new and different
energies for yourself by the experiences the patterns
can give to you.
Understanding #5: The Importance Of Themes
If you want to learn to naturally flow from one
pattern to the next it is important to understand and
Themes are simply overall ideas that tie patterns
Consider the metaphor of a strand of pearls. The
theme is the string that holds together the pearls,
which are the patterns.
There are many, many themes which are likely to
lead to a successful seduction. Among my favorites
*Different places in the mind
*What we are used to wanting; what we THINK we want
versus what would truly deeply fulfill
*Permission to explore
*Connections(with each other, with those deeper
places in the mind, with our dreams, hopes, goals,
As you go through the patterns in the course, notice
how you can tie them together under one or more of
One way to look for a theme is to examine a group of
ideas or things and see what they overall have in
common. For example, in the following list:
* Magic Mountain
* Sea World
* Six Flags
What are they all examples of? What do they all
have in common? Yes, they are all places for fun,
rides, attractions, crowds. Those are all elements
they share. But overall, they all belong to the
category of things called amusement parks.
So when you want to link one pattern with any
other, find some overall experience or thing of which
they are all examples.
Understanding #6: The Two Ways In Which Patterns Work
20% of the time when you use patterns, a woman will
silently sit there, follow along quietly, go exactly
into the states and experiences you describe and
"poof"; you get banged!
80% of the time, however, the patterns work in a
more interesting way.
Consider the metaphor of a pearl, once again. How
are pearls made? Are they inserted directly into the
No; what happens is that a grain of sand gets into
the oyster and acts as an irritant. The oyster forms
the pearl around the grain of sand as a result of the
stimulation caused by the little bit of foreign
In the same way, with brighter, more intelligent
and ultimately more suggestible and fun women, the
patterns act to stimulate and awaken the deeper
structures in her mind that have been laying dormant,
asleep and hibernating, or that have been repressed
for personal or social reasons. Thus the patterns
stir her slumbering structures for fantasy, desire,
indulgence, surrender, wild abandon, etc.
What happens when a woman suddenly feels these
things awakening? Why, my good man, she does what
women so often love to do. She TALKS!
Now, her talking is a good thing. For she is not
only giving you solid information; accurate
descriptions of her own internal models and maps for
what the ideal fantasies, dreams, indulgences and
surrendering should be like, but by talking she
revivifies and re-awakens all these slumbering
So when she talks, LISTEN. Anchor her deeper
responses with a touch or a glance or a sound or
preferably all three at the same time and FEED back
her own "personal trance words" into the standard
patterns you have memorized! When you use HER own
words, remember she not only doesn't resist, but
these words act as signals to further awaken these
deeper structures in her mind. You can then link
these structures to you and amplify these things and
show her how to experience them more vividly,
profoundly and enjoyably then she ever has before!
That is the key to seduction genius and power!
Understanding #7: How To Practice Pattern Flow
Ideally, you want to be able to flow from any one
pattern to any other pattern. Just as in a boxing
match, you want to be able to throw combinations
instead of one punch every round, so too once you
have a woman going with Speed Seduction you do NOT
want to stop until you get your outcum? er? ah? OUTCOME.
Therefore, practicing pattern flow is vital!
One good way is to take the last sentence of any
one pattern. Then come up with a linking or
transitional phrase like, "It's just like" or
"Another thing about that is this" and then the first
sentence of the next pattern you want to use. Write
these out in long hand and then, most vitally
important practice saying these in sequence, out
loud, so you know you can transition when you need
Do bear in mind that OUT LOUD practice, in the
right state, with the right tonality and tempo is
VITAL! The patterns are meant to be spoken, not
written, so merely writing them is NOT sufficient
Understanding #8: Do NOT Lust For Results!
Speed Seduction is not just about how you speak; it
is a different way of perceiving the world. As such,
it takes time to approach mastery. That means the key
is to immerse yourself in these learnings. Practice
all the time, every day, on as many people as you
can. If you reserve your practice ONLY for beautiful
women, you make beautiful women the cause of your
skill, and THAT is a fatal error!
No, I'm not suggestion you get some disgusting ugly
monster hot and horny. I am suggesting that using
your skills to make virtually everyone you come in
contact with feel much better than before they met
you IS a good thing to aim at!
Above all, be patient with yourself. Learning
takes place on many levels, and it can take some
time, some stumbling and some plain fucking it up to
But so what? You learned to walk and learned to
read and write and that took plenty of trial and
error. We are talking about a lifetime of results and
Now, every once in a while, a student will tell me
he has memorized every single pattern but hasn't
tried a single one as much as once in the real
world! And I must inform you if you are potentially
such a person that you don't really understand Speed
Seduction until you've gone out and done it!
If you aren't willing to stumble a little bit?..to
undergo SOME discomfort, however slight, to get what
you want in life, then how will ANY woman with ANY
judgement at all find you attractive no matter WHAT
words you say? If you care so little for your own
life and happiness that you won't take a SINGLE step
to improve your lot, then nothing I can teach you to
SAY will help you one bit. NO woman would find such a
So get up off your lazy, self-pitying, sorry ass,
IF this describes you, and make a vow to work at
making the material work. If you want everything
handed to you on a platter, you are going to wait
forever and get nowhere! USE THE ENCLOSED MATERIALS,
GROW UP, and be willing to be an adult who will fight
for what he wants instead of a spoiled child who
waits for Mommy or Daddy to give it to him without
cost! We've blazed a trail and smoothed the path and
lit it up and marked it clearly; if there is an
occasional pebble you have to step on, so fucking
what! Get your ass moving!"
Update. The various levels of NLS or Neuro Linguistic Seduction (which is what patterning seems to be called on Mindlist). By Zachary D. Marcy, Mindlist:
"I have been practicing NLP for about 3 years now. I have just
stepped into my own since being on this list and being a student of
Kenrick Cleveland. In this time period I have ran into an abundance of
guys that are at different skill levels and stages in their lives with
NLS. I wrote down several of them (including the ones I have
experienced which seems to be all but a few). See if you can identify
yourself with any or several of these stages and also write down
what you think you can do to improve on them. I will try to give an
example of each as I type them, but I don't want to be here all night
so I may just ask you to ... USE YOUR MIND... to REALIZE... which stage
I am refering too. Now, without furthur ado:
- Excited about NLS but Lost - Remember when you first saw all the advertising about SS and NLS? How-open eyed you were and how all of your ideas for what you could do with this stuff ran wild.
- Skeptical about NLS but Lost - Remember after you read your first pattern and wondered "how in the HELL could I start to talk to a woman like this?"
- Diligent about NLS but Lost - You can't figure out why you keep doing these exercises about mirroring and matching etc... but you do... This is a GOOD stage, it makes the success worth it!
- Computer Success but Lost IRL (in real life) - I didn't go through this much. Alex Akselrod knows about this stage...ask him about it.
- Telephone and computer success but lost IRL - I did go through a success on telepersonals stage where I was too chicken shit to take in patterns in real life.
- Stuck on one line and one pattern (not flexible) - this has a ton to do with memorizing patterns!
- Some Success but not repeatable - You have some how managed to get a few success' using a few ideas and patterns and just haven't been able to repeat them. This usually comes when you are being selective and you aren't that flexible yet.
- Some Success and ONLY repeatable with some types of women - most of the time the success was dumb luck. I use to have this problem a bit too. I managed to get a few patterns and ideas that worked well with certain types of women and I just used those and that was it. This was the second stage I expereinced with NLS. The first was no 1 and I next went to this stage. It was hard for me too. I ran into a rut where I didn't meet women that fit this type that I had originally set in my mind and I almost threw NLS out of the door. I am glad I was persistent with it!
- Playing the odds game - you approach 10 women and get one. I was always too picky from the start to do this. Now, understand, this is GREAT practice.
- Snagging Many (approaching about a 60-70% success rate) - remember SUCCESS is defined by YOUR desired outcome! Not my definition of success!
- Doing Great and Being Picky (going for types) - THIS is where was about 3 months ago. I liked this stage in my NLS career!
- Just Flat out picky and not using NLS on any women unless they fit your criteria - here is where I am currently at. It's odd, I figured I would like this stage! I really don't ... I am going back to being a huge flirt again!
- Find and NLS the Girlfriend and yet you cheat on her - This is a saftey girl... you can do this with just dating a girl too. Unfortunantly, I went through this phaze a while ago.
- Find the GirlFriend type and get her - I belive this is what I am currently searching for... where the hell is she?
- Find the ONE to marry - DO WHAT? OK OK... so I have heard several success stories similar to this one. I am young and have a full life ahead of me. I am not looking into this... YET.
- Using NLS to make your marriage work or make it better - ask someone who knows.
- Using NLS to make your relationship better - It worked for me and my ex. It also made me realize who I didn't want to be with.
Realize that these ARE NOT in any order per se. Most of them are just various stages on
relatively the same plain. This may give you goals to strive for or
just idea of where you are currently at. It might give you application
that you haven't realized before... but you realize your application
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