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Fluff talk is an important part of approaching a girl, especially if you plan to lauch into patterns, which you can't begin the conversation with on their own. Fluff talk is also needed, if you plan to continue with eliciting values - you must have had at least some sort of a casual conversation with the girl, for then it would sound only natural for you to have become a little more interested in her, to the point of asking all sorts of questions:)
The number one rule of fluff talk is - direct the conversation towards and talk about FEELINGS. What fluff talk usually ends up being is an exchange of facts - "where ya goin?", "whatcha doin?", "what did you do today/yesterday?", "oh that's interesting". Facts are a BORE! Giving you her facts makes her feel NOTHING. Neither has she any use for the facts you are giving her. So grab any opportunity you have to get to feelings!
"So what did you do yesterday?"
"Oh I went skating"
"You like skating?"
"Makes you feel good?:)"
"I know what you mean..."
And you go on to describe skating as the most liberating, beautiful, earth-shattering experience (that's what making up patterns on the fly is all about:). Or have her describe you her feelings herself, if she is a talker. Voila - you've switched from fluff talk to patterning in a blink of an eye:)
She feels enthralled. But you don't know how to follow up on that. So let the the fluff talk continue.
"So... em... have you eaten anything today?"
"Yea, some sandwitches in the morning. Why?"
"Well I was just hoping to pick up on some tips on how to have a delicious breakfast without having to spend too much time making it:) So you like sandwitches?"
"Um... not really:) I just don't have time for much anything else:)"
"But if you did, let's say you had your own personal cook, what would you like to start your morning with?"
"Oh, well (salivating:), fried eggs and bacon, and a large cup of hot chocolate, and some marmalade (etc, let her describe it to her heart's content:)"
"Ah, that would really feel good wouldn´t it? Still lazily laying in your bed, to have all that delicious food brought to you on a silver tray - you take a sip of cocoa and can feel the pleasant warmth of it spreading thorughout your body, which after a good-night's sleep is more fresh and receptive to the pleasentness of that feeling than usual, and you take a taste of marmalade and can feel it melting in your mouth and the sweetness of it waking you up for yet another wondeful day (etc, now make good use of all the food she HERSELF told you she likes:)"
Once again - fluff talk to pattern talk in no time:)
So the ability to fluff talk is essential, but not any kind of fluff talk will do. She can exchange facts with a million guys and not feel a thing. Or, she can give her facts to you and get a wonderful return on it:) But remember - FEELINGS:)
Update. "So, what's *your* story?"
A less feelings oriented and a more free-flowing approach to fluff-talk. By James L. King III, ASF:
""So, what's *your* story?" - this is wonderful question that will get the other party
talking. It's a good intro, or it can be used right after an opening line.
I've used it several times to great effect, as the line usually gets
women talking about how they got to the party, or what they do for a
living, or about how they know the host, or why they chose to strip for
a living. I learn a lot by paying attention to the subject matter of
their answer. If it's about what they do for a living, then you know
that's something important to them ... rapport material handed on a
platter. If the woman doesn't mind sharing personal things about
herself with you, this opening gives her the perfect opportunity, while
at the same time allowing those women who are more reserved a chance to
come up with something more benign, like "I'm a friend of the host."
If they respond by not answering or looking dazed and confused or by
saying that question makes them uncomfortable, I move on to someone
else. People like that are no fun anyway, no matter how beautiful they
Always be prepared to mirror the statements they give you ... if they
reveal something personal about themselves, you can reveal something
that's personal to you .. perhaps not the same thing, but something
similar. This will feed the rapport between you as a relationship
begins to develop. (This is also a good time to start your patterning
language, if you don't do it naturally and turn it on or off as
Also, if things aren't progressing so well with one person, remember
that mingling means moving around ... don't stay with one person so
long, otherwise you're not mingling. You can always return later.
You can use the "story" approach not only with the person, but with
accessories or special clothing the woman is wearing: examining a
beautiful necklace, you can ask "so, what's the story behind the
The story approach doesn't work with un-special clothing: "So, what's
the story behind those Levi's?" doesn't work as well as "So, what's the
story behind that gorgeous hand-knit scarf?""
How to introduce patterns into a discussion
At a party
The "don't"s of fluff talk
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